My Binge Story

I binged again. This was my realization as I finished my 3rd box of cereal. Binging was a regular event in my life that I didn’t know how to stop until I understood that:

I had to change the dialogue I had with my food and my cravings.

Up until that point, I think I was about 22, your girl had tried many diets – too many diets – and they all started the same way:

“diet starts tomorrow so I better enjoy all the foods today!”

I’d spend a day binging on my favorite foods, begin dieting, maintain it for 3/4-ish weeks and then eventually one of the following would happen

- I’d have a bad day

- PMS kicked in

- Friends wanted to go out for food/something celebratory came up

- I just wanted an effing ice cream

And I would let myself have whatever it was: a dinner out, a cookie, popcorn at the movies, the effing ice cream.

Except 4 weeks ago I’d told myself I was no longer “allowed” to have those things, so now that I had - my day was officially “wrecked” and this idea that I had somehow failed by giving myself something that should have never been off-limits in the first place, tricked me into believing that:

“Today’s already ruined so I’ll start fresh tomorrow. But then I’m not sure when I can have a ice cream again so let me eat as much as I can right now”

And I would eat an entire tub of ice cream

And a large pizza

And 2 boxes of cereal

And then I would agonize in pain through the night reassuring myself I’d start fresh tomorrow but feeling genuinely scared because I didn’t know how I would ever get out of this cycle.

So I talked to people who could help me, studied nutrition, stopped doing these dumb restriction diets, found macro tracking, and learned about what food truly is: energy.

And from there I changed the dialogue I had with my food.

I went from believing one food could ruin my day to knowing that if I wanted something – I could have it. If I wanted more then I could have more, but if not then maybe I’ll have more tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week.

You guys, if any part of this hits home for you – I want you to first know that you are not alone and secondly, my DM is always a safe space.

I understand that social media can be a very educational place but it can also make you feel insecure because there’s so much information out here, how do you know what to believe? So I’m not here to tell you that you should 100% be tracking macros.

What I am here to share is that I used to be a heavy binge eater and it scared me to my core.

These diets/people that tell you to eliminate foods for no reason other than “they’re bad for you” – are going to mess up your relationship with food.

When you give yourself a self-imposed rule that is very restrictive on what’s “good/bad” – you are setting yourself up for failure.

This mentality is the famine cycle that is engrained in us from hundreds of years ago and that cycle exists on one notion: certain foods are not always available, so eat as much of it as you can – when you can, because who knows when you’ll have it again.

When you tell yourself you can no longer eat something – you fall back into that famine that your body remembers from our ancestors, and you are going to overeat.

IG is going to cut me off so we’ll talk more about this later.

But you are not alone.

Eat the food

Honor your body

Honor your cravings

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